My Hands
by Tardigrade
Summary: Maybe, if Phoenix already knew that much, he could figure it out himself. Maybe, she wouldn't have to tell him, even though it hurt her on the inside.   One sided Iris/Phoenix, set in early T&T, 5-1. Spoilers for said case.


_So this idea came to me while I was playing a video game and the song "My Hands" by Leona Lewis started playing at the game's end. I figured this was the perfect one-sided Iris/Phoenix song, since (to me) it's obvious that Iris still has feelings for Feenie (even though it's unreasounable to assume she harboured feelings for him for all of seven years xD) :3_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the Ace Attorney franchise or the song "My Hands"._**

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_"I wake in the morning tired of sleeping,  
__Get in the shower, and make my bed alone.  
__I put on my makeup talking to the mirror,  
__Ready for a new day without you."_

Iris sat upright on her bed, impervious to the sharp, bitter night wind that blew in through her window, guarded only by a thin curtain. Somehow, meeting Phoenix again after seven years of separation affected her sleep pattern. During the past few hours, she had been sleeplessly pacing her room wondering about him. How had he been since they were last together? Had he found someone other than her, someone who he held close to his heart? Iris already knew the answer to that question, but she dared not ask. What she was afraid of was not that she knew he had moved on, but hearing it from Phoenix himself. Yet, Iris knew it was illogical. Had she not already moved on as well? She thought she had; Iris had years of distance from men because of the time she spent at Hazakura. Most, if not all, spirit mediums that trained at the temple were women, and rarely any arrived with men. Even so, that may have been the reason she had never gotten over Phoenix.

Because she never had the chance to meet anyone as honest, as caring, as _amazing_ as he was.

_"And I walk steady on my feet, I talk, my voice obeys me.  
__I go out at night, sleep without the lights,  
__And I do all of the things I have to, keeping you off my mind,  
__But when I think I'll be alright, I'm always wrong."_

Iris groaned in frustration and ran a delicate hand through her onyx tresses. She remembered the precious months when she had to play the part of Dahlia and had dyed her hair red to do so. The days when she could laugh and smile freely with Feenie, _her_ Feenie, even if she was there to retrieve Dahlia's necklace. Back then, she didn't care whether or not Phoenix knew about her true identity. She didn't care as long as she was with him. It all changed, though, when Dahlia decided to return. Now, as much as she still admired her twin for being so independent and strong, she had thought it was unfair that she had to play along and pretend she had never known Phoenix.

_"Play along, got it? You wouldn't betray your own twin again, would you, Iris?"_

No, Iris wouldn't. Nevertheless, she secretly envied and held a pinch of hatred towards her twin. Because of the days at Ivy U., Phoenix had lived for seven years believing he had dated a murderer. That his Dollie was cold-blooded and heartless. But what hurt Iris even more was that she didn't have the strength or courage to tell Phoenix that _she_ was his Dollie. She couldn't even bring herself to contact him. So, she resigned herself to mindlessly droning about Hazakura.

_"My hands don't want to start again,  
__My hands don't want to understand.  
__My hands, they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find."_

Why? Why did she agree to helping the man named Godot? She knew Sister Bikini would never approve of her decision to become an accomplice, but she still did it. Was it because the legendary Misty Fey was involved? No, that wasn't it. Was it because she felt some sort of family bond to the cousin she had then never met? No, that wasn't it either. It was because she knew she would see Phoenix again. It was selfish, yes, but to Iris it felt like the only opportunity to reveal the truth, to tell him that he was still on her mind. She hadn't yet, but she would. Soon. She promised herself that. She promised herself that because it was driving her to the brink of break down. Iris sighed heavily, standing up and fastening her hood. She needed to walk off her stress.

_"My hands, they only agree to hold your hands.  
__The don't want to be without your hands,  
__And they will not let me go, no they will not let me go."_

She wondered who would be wandering the halls late at night when she heard soft conversation coming from the Main Hall. She followed the noise, which slowly quieted down to one voice. She immediately - and embarassingly - recognized the figure standing alone in the Hall. The man was tall and built, wearing cotton slippers, flannel pyjama pants, and a tight, white t-shirt. It contrasted heavily with Iris' acolyte robes which she always wore.

"Oh...," she mumbled to herself as she walked to Phoenix.

"Ah...! S-Sister Iris...!" Phoenix stuttered. She allowed herself a small smile. He _still_ stuttered when he was nervous, and she felt a hint of warmth. Maybe things hadn't changed too much after all.

"G... G-Good evening...," she greeted shyly. She needed to make up an excuse as to why she was wandering the halls late in the evening. She couldn't exactly tell him right now that she was walking off her stress. That would be a dead giveaway, at least, in Iris' eyes. "Um, are you on your way to the bathroom too, Mr. Wright?" He smiled warmly, filling her with warm nostalgia. For all the time they conversed, Iris had a small smile on her face, secretly wanting more of his attention, even when she prompted him to "not stare at her like that." She ended up giving him her hood, too. She claimed it was for warding off spirits, but in actuality, she wanted him to have something of hers. It was oddly funny too, seeing as he almost didn't need it as she politely excused herself.

"Wait a minute, Sister Iris..."

"Y-Yes?" she couldn't help but stutter like an idiot around him.

"Just now, you called me by my name... You said, 'Mr. Wright.'" She gasped quietly, realizing her mistake and suppressing a blush. "How did you know my name? I never introduced yourself to you."

_But you did, Feenie, way back then,_ Iris wanted to say. Instead, she replied incoherently, "Th-That's..."

"Sister Iris, please, tell me the truth," he said. He had no idea how much she wanted to, but she couldn't. Not so soon after they met again. "You and I... Have ever met before?"

A brief silence followed before he stuttered, "I-Iris..." She frowned slightly, internally. _Feenie, please... please, it's Dollie, remember?_

She politely excused herself. Maybe if Phoenix already knew that much, he could figure it out himself. Maybe, she wouldn't have to tell him, even though it hurt her on the inside.

_"No, they don't want to understand.  
They just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find."_

_****__My Hands ~ Leona Lewis_

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_There ya go folks. Review if you'd like (: I sorta think the ending was a bit rushed... but whatever! Hope you enjoyed it (:_


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